The Rock vs Jason Statham: Which One Is Most Egregious With Hair?


This is The Rock:


This is Jason Statham:


This is The Rock fighting Jason Statham:

the rock statham

Both of them were put on God’s green Earth to not have hair. That is a fact. They should both–always–be bald.

But which should more always be more. Er. Balder?

It’s a question. A question that I am asking.

The Rock, though he is (rightfully) bald now, has had hair quite a lot in the past. To wit:




And, most famously:

the rock

I’m sorry for all of that.

Statham, on the other hand, came out of the womb bald…  more than babies usually do. I mean in a spiritual sense. Do you see these pictures?



statham the spy

No, you don’t. “Why was there so much blank space up there?,” you are now asking. You are asking that because the human eye is incapable of registering a Jason Statham who has hair. It is a biological defense mechanism. It is how humans won the evolutionary battle against dinosaurs.

So. Which is most egregious: Jason Statham with hair (inconceivable) or The Rock with hair (conceivable, always looks bad).

I have no answers for you. I never have.


This has been a post.



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