*…of shit. Master-piece of shit. Hey, I had to see Pixels. Let me engage in a bit of levity to try and counteract the psychological trauma.
Pixels is a good movie in the same way:
*Adam Sandler really is “pro-Indian.”
*The Confederate flag is about heritage, not hate.
*Gawker is a bastion of journalistic integrity.
*Cindy has a Goop shrine in her bedroom.
I just fucking can’t with this movie. The premise of it—that we sent a video game time capsule up into space in the ’80s, but aliens take it the wrong way and challenge us to a series of real-life video game death matches—is fine. I’d want to see that if it were directed by a Guillermo del Toro or a George Miller, or anyone else but a Chris “the twoHarry Potter movies most people don’t want to admit actually sucked” Columbus. (The man’s Home Alone and Mrs. Doubtfire days—fuck, even his Rent days—are far behind him.)